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Sunday, March 27, 2011

Mommy Venting time-----

If I hear the Wonder Pets are going to save the day. one. more. time. I will call "Sons of Guns of the Discovery channel and have a BB gun specially made for Lenny, Tuck, and Ming Ming too. It's horrible because you get there stupid little catchy song in your head and then you and your significant other are singing how your going to save a zoo full of animals. lol.

Toddler vs. Mom's dinner plans.

Well, you know how they say that "moms have eyes in the back of there head" they lied. Or I did not receive this ever so special power. All I have to do is turn my back and BAM he strikes! He's a ninja! And now he is using his ninja skills to sabotage my dinner plans!? I am getting weaker as he grows stronger. I must seek special "eyes in the back of my head" training from a more experienced super mom.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Toddler vs. Walmart

Mommy Diaries (Toddler vs. Walmart)
Why is it, when you take your child to walmart they act up?
Don’t they know that it is the last place left in the United States of America that will allow spankings in public?
Not only that, but someone will offer, “hey you want me to spank your kid”? No fine old sir guarding the door for protection
I’ll just let him be an angry beaver on the floor.
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Sunday, March 20, 2011

Mommy Diaries (Toddler Vs Mommy) Entry 127: Laundry day living a hotel is already hard enough having to dragging your loads up and down 4 flights of stairs, while coaxing an unwilling toddler to come with you and not run the other direction. But after your sweating profusely and you are glorified that the Laundry Amazing Race is over. . . My toddler decides to have a dance party on the once folded clothes.
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Eggtastic morning.

Mommy Diaries: (Toddler vs. Me) 7:00am.Before Coffee. Thought the week apart made us refrain from war tactics. I was wrong. Kel asked to take a bath first thing this morning. went to run bath. sniper mode was on. I got smoked in the side of the face. Not fully aware of what just happend to me i quickly dried my face. Then an egg came out of no where, missed me & hit the bath tub. I have evidence.
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Anything for a kiss from your child

Anything for a mommy to get a kiss from the toddler who won't sit still!
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(Mommy Diaries: Mommy Vs Toddler) Before entering into slumer last night I climb into my place of rest and realize that my little arch enemy baby had poored a very very large amount of pepper into my bed. He jumped on it the pepper flew everywhere, started making me sneeze and then backfired and got into his nose and eye! The war tactic he used backfired badly!
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Mommy Diaries: Toddler vs. Lacy the Lab- I was in the field preparing food for my soldiers (family) and I momentarily let my guard down. That's when he struck. He grabbed his black oozing weapon of doom (sharpie) and attacked my fortress. I then retrieved his weapon. Out of breath I turned to him & he had some kind of war powder? My best friend and companion, smoked by war dust.
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Toddler Vs. Mom in the Morning

Mommy Diaries: (Toddler vs. Mom) The war has been calm for the past months. I felt confident in my warfare skills as they were growing stronger. But he grew stronger as well. As I was in my morning fog from just slumbering sweetly, he somehow grabbed Garlic Salt & surrounded me with it. The horrible aroma filled my eyes and nose, he smiled at me slyly and jumped. And the Garlicy reaper Bomb exploded in my face.
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Mommy Diaries (Mommy vs. Toddler in vehicle)My transporter has been bombed with French fries, candy, toys, and other toddler weapons. I felt it be necessary to clean my source of transportation on this fine sunny Saturday. As an offering of “peace while cleaning” I got him some skittles. Everything was fine, until I looked away for 3 seconds t...o vacuum the back seat. Someone thought Amp would coordinate well with my interior.
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